Affluent parents pressure 17-year-old daughter to take out $400K in student loan debt to get her undergraduate degree: 'I love my dream school, but I love my future more.'

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Emmy Pratt • Senior Editor
Sep 29, 2026 3:15 PM EDT

Why do they want their daughter to suffer in the long run? 

For some people, taking out student loans is the only way they can attend college. Their parents didn't or couldn't save enough for them to attend a four-year institution, and even if they worked full-time while in school, they still can't afford to pay upfront. Because going to college has been sold as a way to guarantee success for yourself, the student loan crisis has gotten totally out of hand.

Some degrees make much more sense to take loans out for than others. If you're going to medical school, I'm guessing you probably don't have hundreds of thousands of dollars to pay for school upfront. If so, you're a total anomaly. Medical schools can justify charging so much because their graduates will go on to be high earners, so they trust their alumni can pay back what they borrowed. But the tricky thing about student loans is that you can't always guarantee that you'll graduate, or that you'll get the income that you're aiming for after graduation. If you take out $200K in student loans for medical school and you drop out before you become a doctor, you still are going to have to pay that balance eventually, even if you're only making $50K annually. 

I don't think it's smart to take out student loans for an undergraduate degree, but I understand why some people do it. I understand doing so if you're middle class, but I really don't understand doing so if you're upper middle class or rich. If you have a high income and have spent your child's entire life buying new cars every couple of years instead of putting money into a college account, then you really messed up. Saving and paying for your kid's college education will mean a lot more to them than buying them a $40K car when they turn 16, and you would think parents smart enough to make a bunch of money would understand that. 

The New York Post reported that 15 colleges in the United States now cost $100K+ to attend every year. They include Duke, the University of Chicago, NYU, Georgetown, and Smith College. When I was applying to colleges, I thought that it was crazy that Southern Methodist University had $70K tuition. Obviously, that is still crazy, but college tuition is only getting crazier as time marches on. One of the 15 most expensive colleges in the United States is probably the one the student in this story dreamed of attending, until she found out that it would require her to take out $400K in student loan debt to attend. When she told her parents she wasn't going to take out loans, they got really angry because they thought she implied they wouldn't help her pay off her balance. Even though she wasn't saying that, it's a reasonable thing to be afraid of! Do you know how many parents promise to help their kids pay off their student loans and don't follow through on it?

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  • Bored teenager schoolgirl studying at home
    via Getty Images (Unsplash+)

    A studious teenage girl in her bedroom.

    Scene shown is a visual representation.

  • I'm a 17 year old and I'm attending a competitive public high school in a very affluent community. Since junior year I have been working hard to try and get into my dream school (which is private) and in the past couple months I have made lots of good
    via Flavebabe
  • progress in achieving that goal. To me, this school is not the end all be all. I would be more than happy to attend any school on my list, it is just the goal I have set for myself, and would reassure me that I can achieve great things.
    via Flavebabe
  • Originally I planned on applying early decision (binding financial commitment if accepted) to this school because it would SIGNIFICANTLY increase my chances of admission. However, now I plan on just applying early action, continuing
    via Flavebabe
  • demonstrating interested and receiving great grades and seeing where it takes me. I would not be devastated by a rejection because I know I would have tried my absolute best.
    via Flavebabe
  • This is where my parents, especially dad, come in. My dad is very particular and prides himself on his accomplishments tremendously. He is a very hard worker and both of my parents would go to the ends of the earth to provide for me.
    via Flavebabe
  • My parents never created a college fund for my sister and I, but I was ok with that because I am more than happy to attend my local state school and save money, especially since I plan on going to law school. I told my parents I was interested in no longer
    via Flavebabe
  • applying early decision and making a more financially conservative decision because I do not want to carry that amount of debt as a young adult. My dad got super angry. I know that he thinks I don't trust them, or that I don't think they will help me pay off the loan. I
    via Flavebabe
  • know they would, and I know they would rather di than let me do it myself. However, I still cannot justify 400k. It is completely absurd to me. I love my dream school, but I love my future more.
    via Flavebabe
  • Since learning more about loans I've realized the investment and commitment I would be making, and I do not feel comfortable allowing anyone taking out 400k in loans in my name as a 17 year old. So now, we fight all the time. My dad
    via Flavebabe
  • brings up my dream school, loans, what school I would pick if I got into my top 3, etc, etc. The questions are truly never ending. My mom is much more approachable and I discussed my feelings with her, but she told my dad, and that made him more upset. I am truly at
    via Flavebabe
  • a loss for what to do. Is it bad to not trust my parents about this? What do I do? How do I stop fighting with my parents all the time? I'm truly so miserable at home and I'm not sure what decision is right or if I'm being absurd. Also, my
    via Flavebabe
  • family is well off, but we still struggle with finances. from time to time. My parents have both expressed their financial struggles and I feel that this would just amplify that even more. Any and all advice would be appreciated. Thank you so much.
    via Flavebabe
  • BayRider2026 If your dad is so certain that he will pay off the loan, suggest that he takes out the loan in his name.
    via BayRider2026
  • Formal-Research4531 First, if the OP is going to borrow $100,000 a year, most of the student loans will be private. Those companies are going to request an adult like a parent to co-sign the loans. Second, the monthly payment is going to be substantial and probably will take the OP 30 years to repay.
    via Formal-Research4531
  • -Clayburn It sounds like he doesn't even want his parents paying it out of principle.
    via -Clayburn
  • telchacsusan Do NOT take out these loans. Go to community college and take your core classes, then transfer to a state uni.
    via telchacsusan
  • Fit_Play_9448 My kids did this. Combined with the college fund we set when they were born (and a little help from us), they graduated with no debt.
    via Fit_Play_9448
  • yb21898n I think you are being very smart and practical. if there is no college fund, and you arent going for a career thats going to be making $300k per year the best advise is you go to a state school and do minimal loans. it doesnt make sense to be in that much debt when you wont be making the money in the future. be smart, ultimately its your future and youll be stuck with the debt. Look at other subreddits, the financial ones. You have graduates with debt and cant find jobs. Monthly payment
    via yb21898n
  • juan2141 No undergrad degree is worth 400k of debt. Go to state school, work hard to get into the top tier law school.
    via juan2141
  • SuzanneTF I think your dad is living through you. That is life ruining amounts of debt. Even medical professional (good six figure salaries) hate looking at that amount of debt. He's doing this for social and brag reasons but he didn't do his end of the bargain to play for social clout like that.
    via SuzanneTF
  • patty202 Do not go in debt at 18. Period.
    via patty202

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